I’m not the type to be discouraged easily in life, but everytime for the first time…I’m discouraged by the reality that I don’t have anything to offer him except what he can open his eyes and mind to see in me…and I don’t believe it’ll be enough…but I want it to be. My heart literally feels jabs of pain.
I am torn by the “I don’t need someone else to feel good about myself” and the “I’ve found in the other person the things I need, but don’t have in myself and its beautiful”.
I can’t help but realize everyday that I’ve found someone I’d like to call my soulmate, but the only thing is I’ve never been a believer in soulmates. Sigh.
A lot of people regret missing in on the “life” of those they love and it ends up really hurting them later on…but see for me its not hella years later that I know what I lost when I make the decisions I do to miss out on important things in those I loves lives’…instead I feel it today, tomorrow, and for all of the future because I already know what I am missing out on…so it kills me slowly…not sure what is worth what anymore. I am expected to treat others humanely, but what about my life? The standards that are defined have never been defined to acknowledge the life of people who aren’t living mainstream and American values lifestyles…I FEEL LIKE I AM CHOOSING THE THINGS THAT WILL KILL ME MORE SLOWLY AND NOT RIGHT AWAY.
"And the ability of the human soul to overcome tragedy itself is a beautiful thing. It may take some time, and you may never feel or see things the same way again, but the journey to overcoming is not unreachable. We aren’t impervious to pain, weakness, fear, or anger, and at one point in our lives, we will not be okay. And it’s quite all right to not be okay."
— Kim Tran
I need myself now more than ever…I never thought I’d ever say that, but I do.
Two interviews in one day what was I thinking?! :( one turned out to be 2 hours and the other 2.5 hours. Why do my interviews extend hours past the designated time all the time? Well its not a bad thing cause they are just as into the conversation, but I get it from alot of people that I talk to much which makes me worry…what happens when these people want to talk to me just as much? I get nervous that I’m at fault for a long conversation…but no…it takes two.
I’m exhausted from preparing for both :X
